I guess that there is nothing that seems as contrary to that love as when the disciples begin to quarrel among themselves.  Yet quarrel they do.  We have examples of quarrels between the brethren in scripture, and unfortunately we have examples of it in the church.  I suppose that the church would be that perfect bride of Christ as it is designed in scripture if it were not for the people in it.  People are imperfect, and bring their imperfections into the church.  Sometimes that results in quarrels.  Those quarrels affect not only the quarrelers, but the whole body.  What’s worse is the effect that they have on the yet unsaved that might observe them.

So what is the cause of quarrels among us?  James, chapter 4, starts with that precise question.  “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?  Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?  You desire but you cannot have, so you murder.  You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.  You do not have because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.  You adulteress people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?  Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”  (James 4: 1-4, ESV)  James tells us that at the root of all quarrels is passion at war within us.  The King James calls it lust in our members.  This is a personal issue with emotion and lust.  Any emotion or lust contrary to the teachings of Christ will promote some sort of turmoil in our life.  And it should.  When we became Christians we each determined that from that point forward we would live a life conformed to that of our Lord.  Yet, being human we fall short.  This brings about turmoil in my life.  I’m unhappy with the situation.  At times that unhappiness brings immediate repentance, and the turmoil is short lived.  (2 Cor 7: 10)  But often, repentance is not immediate, and often I may not even know that I have a problem.  If my problem is fornication, drunkenness, lying, or stealing, it’s easy to identify for myself, but also easy to conceal from others, so repentance may not be so immediate, wishing to avoid the embarrassment of public confession.  Additionally, I may have a more subtle lust that I am not aware of.  Among these are pride, greed, envy, selfish ambition, seething anger, bearing grudges.  One may carry these, and not see the need for repentance.  One with an anger problem may think that it is not a problem as long as it does not display itself outwardly.  They hold anger in until it explodes.  Any ungodly lust or passion not repented of will lead to our handling that lust or passion in a worldly way.  The most worldly of ways is to keep the lust or passion hidden causing turmoil within our lives.  What happens is when my turmoil comes into conflict with your turmoil, we will have a quarrel.  In other words, it takes two to have a quarrel.  It takes only one to administer a beating, but two to have a fight.  When we catch our children quarrelling, we command them to stop.  The usual response from one is “He started it.”  This is as though the one initiating the conflict was the only one quarrelling.  Without a combative response there can be no quarrel, a beating perhaps, but not a quarrel.  So the first solution to quarrels in the church is to have a spiritual response to a worldly passion. 

Recently I received a pretty nasty call from somebody that was unhappy with something that happened at the church.  They used combative language to describe the situation and the wrongness thereof.  They literally yelled and screamed at me for 15 minutes, telling me how it was all my fault because I was the preacher.  Finally there was a pause, and I said, “OK”.  This was followed by another 5 minutes about my shortcomings to which I again responded “OK”.  Then the caller said, “I just wanted you to know that so I guess I’ll hang up now.”  Unfortunately, that caller left with their anger, but the quarrel was avoided.  I don’t know that I would have done so well if this had happened in person, or had there been witnesses.  I hope that I would.  Unfortunately, when we encounter this sort of worldliness in front of witnesses, one of those hidden lusts, pride, often gets in the way.  It’s like the devil getting in the way saying, “Are you going to let them talk to you that way?”  So I feel compelled to respond, and the quarrel ensues.  Then that same pride says to all, “It’s not my fault, he started it.”  When Jesus said to turn the other cheek, the point was that it is noble and godly to take a beating (Just look at the cross), but to take part in a quarrel is worldly.   

We need to learn to respond spiritually to worldly lusts.  Why is gossip so damaging to a church?  Because gossip is worldly, and when it’s about me, I tend to respond in a worldly manner.  I want to know who said those awful things about me, and go settle it with them in person.  The spiritual response is to come before the congregation and say that the gossip is untrue.  Now everybody knows, so the problem is in the light.  The devil cannot operate in the light.  Note, this address to the congregation is to be about the rumor only and not attached to the person who might have started it.  Otherwise, you have a worldly response dressed up as a spiritual one.  The issue should not be people, but truth.  Here’s the hard part.  If the gossip about me is true, I still need to address it before the congregation, except this time to repent and ask forgiveness.  Again the issue is not people, but truth.  And again, the devil cannot operate in the light. 

“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.  For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.  But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.  Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,  Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,  Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.  Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. This I say then, .   

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.  Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden.”  (Galatians 5: 16- 6: 5) 

Consider the above scripture.  It appears to me that in any congregation that there are those who are walking after the flesh, and those who are “spiritual”.  Those who are spiritual are to gently restore those who are walking after the flesh, understanding that at any moment the shoe could be on the other foot.  Those who are walking after the flesh have a war within their members (turmoil).  At any time this turmoil can erupt into a quarrel, according to James.  So the time to deal with this turmoil is as soon as it is noticeable.  Occasionally I’ve heard of those who come to worship with the smell of alcoholic beverage on their breath.  Anyone who cannot avoid alcoholic beverage on the Lord’s Day has a drinking problem.  That needs to be dealt with as a drinking problem before it becomes a quarrel.  Since this is public, and surely more than one smells it, those who smell it as a group should approach that member gently and confront him.  Again the problem is in the light.  I would remind each one of you that the purpose of this is not to expel the drunkard, but to find a way to help him escape his state.  So the approach, Though definitive must remain gentle.

James also tells us that these worldly lusts often prevent us from seeking a spiritual solution.  They interfere with our prayer life.  They make us unsatisfied, so we seek satisfaction rather than God.  “You desire but you cannot have, so you murder.  You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.”  In our desire to get our way we try every method but asking God for his will.  We don’t have because we don’t ask.  We are so caught up in our passion that it doesn’t occur to ask.  On the other hand, sometimes we ask to have our worldly passion satisfied.  “Dear Lord, please take this brother that I’m quarreling with and have them move to another congregation.”  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.  This isn’t the only example, but rather than asking that you and your brother can find peace, you’re asking for them to go away.  That’s your will, not God’s.  So passion has caused us either not to pray or to pray selfishly.  Sadly, we’ve cut ourselves off from the only solution to our distress. 

There is one other cause of quarrels,  This is hate.  Hate has no place in the church.  We are to love the lost as much as we love the saved.  If there is hatred in your life, it must be expelled.  Again, hate has no place in the church. 

Finally, what does it take to solve quarrels?